oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize