so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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