he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
