we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize