her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize