I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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