i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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