I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
