I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
