I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?