My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.