You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Barsexuality is the new black.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.