Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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