i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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