she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
