you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
