my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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