every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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