I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
