Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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