The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
