So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
