So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
