It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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