Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just cropdusted the office
no. you can't hotbox the world.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
