Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
