Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Houston, we have a blender
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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