It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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