you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm always down for nudity.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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