once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize