the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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