Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize