The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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