I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
