you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
