I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
