Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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