I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
