Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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