They have a pepper shaker for pot.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
