I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
