You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
This is classic penis vs brain.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
