How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i think my cat just said my name.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
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