I would go down on you faster than GM stock
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize