He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
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The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
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I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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