it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
