just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
