I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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