if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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