So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
