you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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