Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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