i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
