I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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