mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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