so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize