I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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