Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
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i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
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Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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