CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
