I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
